Week 22: Tempera-MENTAL

Being sickly on Tuesday was great. It gave me a chance to recover from the grueling weekend. Then it was right back at it on Wednesday. Our speaker this weekend was Josh Riebock, who was really cool. He’s only 33 so it was easier to relate to him. He was really down to earth and told awesome stories.  He also gave us all a copy of his book called Heroes and Monsters. Hopefully I’ll get around to reading it sometime.

Thursday I had SWEEPs in SS. We cleaned out a residential house. I worked with Nathan and it was really cool to get a chance to talk to him. He’s a PK too (Pastor’s Kid), and we got to talk about that and found out we have a ton in common in relation to being a PK. He knows what’s it’s like to have your dad out of a job and looking for pastoral work. Definitely not easy.

That night was Pause night and it as my night! We had Tri-Tip for dinner with beans, garlic bread, and salad. We also had red velvet cupcakes and nutella! Yay! Afterwards, we played Wii Sports. Michelle and Trevor were getting way over competitive. It was actually getting on my nerves. I don’t know why, but I was super irritable that night. They were dumping water on each other and on Happy. I felt they were being incredibly rude. Seriously, a 19yr old and a 21yr old acting like they’re 5. It was incredibly annoying. I think I really need to work on patience, because recently I’ve been at the end of my rope with Michelle and ready to snap at any moment. They say the best part about Joshua is community and the worst part about Joshua is community.

Friday was our 3^rd Philippians test. Duh, duh, duhhhh. I passed though! Yay! It was really nerve racking though. Friday I also got to meet with Rich about my T-JTA, and temperament test we took back in December. We got our results back Thursday, and had them explained individually. Rich showed me how mine said I use a lot of defensive mechanisms to avoid being hurt. It also said I’m very impulsive. The test did show that I was super hard on myself when taking the test, though. But he showed me areas he’s seen change since the time I took the test. It definitely wouldn’t be the same results if I took it again now. He said they are going to offer us to take it again in the summer, so I’m excited to see the differences.

I started work again in SS. I think this is the fourth week in a row. I feel like an SS expert by now. My hands are starting to get callused from vacuuming so much. Better than blisters! I’m also getting to know some people in SS really well, which is awesome! It makes work a lot more fun.

On a bad note, Friday night we found out that Marina needed to leave the program. It was really hard on everyone. Losing people never gets easier. I had a panic attack that caused probably the worst asthma attack I’ve ever had. I’m still trying to recover from it. Not fun. There is definitely a lot of sadness in the building right now. But Joshua goes on.

My faith has really been stretched these last few weeks. I feel spiritually beat up. Rich says February in Joshua is designed for this, being pressed. February is the month where people question their faith and why they are even in Joshua. I can seriously feel that. A lot of the time I feel like I just want to cry until my eyeballs fall out. Joshua is definitely the hardest, irritating, most frustrating thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. That’s exactly why I need to be here.